Author: diseydotes

  • Alien

    Confession: There’s a good chance I’m an alien.

    I was recently in a group chat with friends. It was someone’s birthday. Throughout the day as various people posted hilarious messages, others reacted with the appropriate emojis and responded with more fun and hilarity. I prepared my offering, gut-laughing all the while because it was freaking funny. And then I posted it. 

    You could hear a pin drop…for the next several hours. Apparently I was really off the mark. It isn’t the first time this has happened.

    I often find others greatly amusing. In the words of Elizabeth Bennet, “I dearly love to laugh.” But I also think I’m funny. Granted, at my house I could be laughing hysterically at my own joke while my family members give me the side-eye. 

    All that to say, sometimes I wonder if I’m an alien. The way my brain processes information, draws conclusions, and interprets humour doesn’t always jibe with others. It’s alienating when you feel like you don’t get others and they don’t get you. I would use perimenopause as an excuse if it could be applied to the last 10-20 years. 

    Maybe everyone else is genuinely funnier than I am. Maybe I’m not supposed to be the funny one in this particular group, and it throws everyone off when the scales are tipped. Maybe I don’t understand the appropriate humour in any given situation. Maybe I’m just weird. Or maybe the mothership hasn’t been in contact because their ham radio broke down. Whatever the reason, I thank God that there is at least one human who truly gets me. She won’t agree, but my bestie is even weirder than I am.

    Do you ever feel like an alien in this world? 

    I’ve experienced this feeling many times and in many different social situations. The example I gave is just the most recent and least awkward. Perhaps its my age, but I find myself caring less and less what people think of me. If you’re not there yet, and right now these scenarios are alienating and awkward and hurtful and confusing for you, I get it. 

    You’re not an actual alien trapped in a human body. You just see and experience the world differently than some people. Take comfort in the thought that there are others who feel exactly the same way. There are also lots of “regular” people who appreciate us aliens and either don’t find us awkward at all or genuinely enjoy our quirks. 

    Have patience. Be yourself. Use your gifts to bless the world. And keep sharing those awkward posts in the group chat, even if it is just to mess with people.

    [May 21, 2025]

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  • Identity Theft

    Hello Friends.

    As I was in prayer and worship this morning, I came to the realization that the reason I had been feeling so down lately was in part due to PMS (ugh), but also because of the lies of the enemy I had regressed to believing. The lies haven’t been tangible ideas that pop into my head, ideas that are relatively easy to rebuke and walk away from. Rather the lies have taken the form of old familiar feelings — feelings that seem real and are subtly fed to my soul over time until I begin to feel defeated, ashamed and unworthy of God’s love.

    How haven’t I learned this lesson already? How have I, after so much time being bathed and cleansed in my Father’s love and truth, missed this insidious invasion into my soul?

    I was feeling ashamed that God clearly has to teach me the same lessons over and over, but I believe He showed me that even though it’s the same lesson, much like my kids’ math lessons, there are many practice problems along the way. One by one, God and I find the solutions together, and as I learn, I become trained in that skill.

    I experienced decades of identity theft. It’s to be expected that it could take significant time for me to relearn my actual identity in Christ. I’m a student in my Master’s hands. I’m a masterpiece in the making.

    That’s not shameful, its beautiful.